the list of 9 for june 29, 2005:
NINE LOS ANGELES ECCENTRICS
Ever since the "movie people" first came to Hollywood in the 1910's, my adopted hometown has longbeen stereotyped as a haven for freaks. What most outsiders don't know is that L.A. people arejust as conformist as anybody else - maybe not the way that smalltown Iowans are, but the idea isthe same. However, there still exist several memorable loonies in this city, and not all of themare homeless. Some you've heard of, or seen pictures of. Others remain anonymous and unreported.This list celebrates them all:
- ANGELYNE. The infamous "billboard queen," Angelyne - she of the pinkCorvette, platinum beehive and inhumanly large breasts - has been a local fixture since 1981.Nobody knows where she gets the money to erect so many billboards of herself, or how old shereally is (one report has her born in 1958). But all agree that in many ways she personifiescontemporary Hollywood.
- DENNIS WOODRUFF. Angelyne's male counterpart in a sense,Woodruff has been trying to sell himself as an actor for decades, though he's better known forhis crazy self-promoting art cars, plastered with photos of himself, spray-painted with his name, andoften incongruously mounting an enormous paper mache head. Ol' Dennis may actually be homeless - Isuspect he calls his numerous vehicles "home."
- HARRYPERRY. Known as the "Kama Kosmic Krusader," Perry is Venice Beach's mostoft-photographed figure. You've seen the pictures: bearded guy of indiscriminate race skatingaround on roller skates, wearing a turban, playing an electric guitar, smiling beatifically. Ihave it on authority that Perry not only pulls in a tidy income for his appearances, but that healso married into money.
- BACKWARDS RUNNING GUY. Now we get into the more obscurecharacters. I have seen, on numerous occasions, a fortysomething black man in red spandex runningdown Hollywood and Sunset Boulevards - backwards. He manages it by staring over his shoulder as heruns. I don't know why exactly he runs backwards, but I'm glad he does.
- DANCING GUY ON ROBERTSON, NEAR THIRD. He's been there foryears: a fit, bearded white man in black spandex (what's with the spandex?) who stands on hislittle spot on the sidewalk and dances, dances, dances - all day long. Man, he knows how toget down! A former coworker told me that this dude was once a pitcher for the Dodgers in the 70's,but fried his brain on drugs. He never begs, and he's not homeless. I've seen him climb into a cabat the end of a long day of getting his groove on; apparently he lives with his sister.
- DR. SUSANBLOCK. This lady - the only one on this list who you won't normally see out inpublic - fancies herself a spokeswoman for sexual freedom, an "erotic philosopher/adventurer"who's hosted a racy cable access show for many moons. Good for her - though clearly she's alsoa bit nuts. Her web site can tell you more, but be forewarned that it's not for the prudish.
- MELROSE LARRYGREEN. Once a mainstay on Howard Stern's radio show, this possibly-homeless crankfrequently runs for mayor of LA when he's not standing on Melrose Avenue, waving his hand-paintedpro-Bush signs at passing cars.
- SANTA MONICA MOONING MAN. For well over a decade (andperhaps even today), this thin Caucasian man with shortly-cropped blonde hair would appear on thesame spot on Santa Monica Beach, where every weekday afternoon he'd lie down on his stomach to tan- after first pulling down his white Speedos to reveal his bare bottom to God, the sun, andanybody who happens by.
- DAVIDHART. Like Dr. Susan Block, Hart first earned his cult reknown through his bizarrecable access TV show, in which he sang Bible songs using beat-up marionettes (including one called"Chip the Black Boy") whose heads often ended up spinning. Most Angelenos today recognize Hart as"the guy in front of the Hollywood Bowl" - and sure enough, after every concert, Hart is there,crooning his ditties (often with puppet) to departing audiences. I'm only scratching the surfacewith this man - add to it his Christmas window signs (complete with random umlauts over theletters), his obsession with finding a date, and his other lovably demented peccadillos, andyou have a true L.A. eccentric.
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