the list of 9 for may 7, 2004:
NINE CLASSIC SONGS WE SHOULD PUT A MORATORIUM ON
"Moratorium" is a good word to know: it's a legal term that means, in this sense, "a suspension ofactivity." The following nine songs have reached such a level of media saturation that theiractivity should be suspended for a good hundred years. People may still listen to them in theprivacy of their own homes, but please, no more use in TV commercials, movie soundtracks,wedding receptions, karaoke bars or oldies radio stations. It's not that they're bad songs - onthe contrary, most of them are so good that the shame is that, due to massive overexposure, we canno longer enjoy them as we could when they were fresh and new. Behold:
- "I FEEL GOOD," James Brown. The hands-down winner in thiscategory, James Brown's output is so huge, and so consistently soulful, that if we retired thisone for good, people might start discovering the wealth of material in this man's catalogue. And Idon't mean "Living in America."
- "RESPECT," Aretha Franklin. A truly great song that haslost every last shred of its impact, thanks to being whored out to any commercial enterprise who'sgot the money.
- "WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU," The Romantics. Forget what I saidin the opening paragraph. This is not a good song. It should be banned simply because it's awful.It's the most overplayed awful song ever.
- "CELEBRATION," Kool and the Gang. This isn't a good songeither. Frankly I've never in my life heard a less convincing, more lifeless ode to celebrating,good times, or parties.
- "I CAN'T HELP MYSELF (SUGAR PIE HONEY BUNCH)," The FourTops. Runner up: "Reach Out (I'll Be There)." The Four Tops seemed to favor song titleswith parentheses, didn't they?
- "YMCA," The Village People. Though it's still fun to watchhomophobes at wedding receptions unwittingly shaking their butts to this flagrantly gay anthem,there are plenty of other Village People tunes that will produce the same effect, without all thearm movements.
- "MY GIRL," The Temptations. Once sweet and charming, nowcloying and drippy.
- "YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG," AC/DC. In my opinion, thisband should have called it quits after original singer Bon Scott died. That said, the title trackto "Back in Black" still rocks. This ode to sex with an American girl does not.
- "THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT," KC and the Sunshine Band. Thisninth position was a tough call. There's also "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves,"Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones, "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge, "Stand By Me" by Ben E.King, and the new kid, "All Star," by Smash Mouth.
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